We're back!

We're back! from a family weekend at Lake Louise and we're back online after the computer crashed left us needing to buy a new one.




New MSIFX700 machine is up and running after our computer crashed last week. Thankfully we could get our documents and pictures transferred to this new computer. What a week behind us! The computer crashed just as we were heading out for our first family vacation at Lake Louise and there's so much to tell you!....let's hope I remember it all and Alexiss gives me enough time today to catch up. Here's some pictures to keep you all satisfied for now...

Off to Lake Louise tomorrow!

We're off to Lake Louise tomorrow, Alexiss will be sporting a super sweet yellow outfit from Gramma. I've got a tote of stuff and a list going of things I need to grab for Alexiss tomorrow morning. I hope the drive goes well and we can all settle in and have fun!

Alexiss is starting to lose the chubb on her cute lil feet. When I try to take a picture, she gets excited and starts kicking so all attempts to capture them til now are blurry.

She's standing on her toes pretty good, I hold her steady...and am ready when she's not so sturdy to help her out, but overall she's doing it on her own.

No crawl yet, but lots of rocking on all fours and spinning with two hands. To everything..turn, turn, turn..there is a season..turn, turn, turn.

Well, bed for me, tomorrow is gonna be a super whirlwind of activity and I can safely say Alexiss should be asleep for the night.

Do not want!

Alexiss is now starting to push away that what she does not want, including The Momma's hands, her bottle and toys. Mark started giving her the whole bag of small toys and she actually sorts through it for that what she does want, it's so cute to see her riffling through.

I noticed a grinding noise coming from her mouth this morning, so although I cannot see or feel a top tooth all the way through, it must be through enough to produce the annoying grinding noise. I quickly gave her a toy to chew on instead and hope that it's just because it's new.

Today is a rainy chilly kinda day but it's needed, we've had fire bans in effect already, just in time for the May 2.4. weekend and Slave Lake has been whiped out by a fire. Mark is working overtime to get some Atco dorm units built for the weekend for workers in the Slave Lake area. He's got a personal connection to Slave Lake since fighting a forest fire around the town in the past. Yesterday we had to go pick up Debbie since he couldn't give her a ride. Alexiss slept most of the time because she'd not slept the night before.

I was so mad yesterday morning! I had a hard time falling asleep, Mark snoring, me trying to block it out and sleep on the couch. Then the cat decided he wanted to try to sleep with me. Comfortable...NOT! But all I kept thinking was Links's bad week last week and a weekend coming with our trip to Lake Louise. Neighbors taking care of the pets makes me nervous about Links getting out. He's quick and preys on unsuspecting people to let him out. I think it's more the game of getting out than it is about being out, and he doesn't let other people pick him up to retrieve him. How could I not let him cuddle, thinking he may not be here when we get back. I almost resorted to trying to sleep on the loveseat, but Alexiss saved me in her own way..... by not sleeping herself and making me get up. So.. up I was, tending to her from 12 midnight to 2:oo. She settled back in, then woke again at 4:oo. I got her fed and back to sleep just in time for Mark to wake up for work. Instead of "good morning", "If you wake her up, you're staying home from work and taking care of her!" flew out of my mouth before I knew what I'd said. The rest of the sleep didn't go much better, but we made it though.

Alexiss continues to give me insight into personal behavior. It always amazes me when I see a new understanding for behavior that I think most take for granted and learned early through their parents behavior, not understanding why a certain behavior is "expected" in society. The first time I saw it was when I made Mark start calling home when he expected to be late, or the odd phone call during the day "just because". Mark and I had never done either of these in the past, living more like roommates and bachelors...and liking who we were. Now I see the purpose of a man "taking care of" a women. Little things that used to rile me, damn, I can take care of myself.. Thank YOU! But something as simple as booking time at the spa in Lake Louise took a conscious effort to not keep putting aside. I finally got it done, but I pictured those old boyfriends, trying to be helpful and nice "booking me a spa day" and me being irked by it rather than feeling like they were being my "knight in shining armor". I hated to be taken care of in the past, but again, now I understand where it comes from..... because now I'm the last person I take care of, sometimes to the result of not taking care of me at all.

How many behaviors are ingrained into society with a purpose that we just think is just the way we do things? Very interesting to see and be aware of these behaviors and I'm glad I'm getting to see it. It always amazes me when I have an "a-ha" moment of self discovery of behavior driven by having a child that I used to look at society and shake my head at.

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! If you're not... bite yer owner..

Short Sunday Morn update from me, there's lots going on! Seems our Lil Mizz A is driving a race car of learning this week!

We have lift off! Alexiss is getting her bum up a bit, crawling is in sight!

She now claps! I've been "helping" her clap and when I wasn't looking (and Mark was) she got the idea to use her other hand to help herself instead of waiting for the Mamma! Granted she uses the back of her other hand, much cuter that way.

She hasn't managed to get her toes in her mouth again, too much other stuff going on.

Family trip to Lake Louise is coming up quick! Next weekend we'll be hiking around Lake Louise and eating yummy food. It's the first Ryderson mini vacation with just us, without it being to see family, and Alexiss completes it and makes it a true Ryderson Vacation!

I had to finagle a trip to the vet this week. I was going to try to manage Alexiss and Links, but Mark convinced me otherwise. I'm thankful he did and Alexiss got in a good visit with Grace. Links on the other hand, didn't have such a good visit with the vet. He was ill all morning, not even keeping water down. I would've been sick with worry had I not been so busy trying to juggle everything. The vet couldn't get near him, he bit me in his don't-come-near-me dance, we had to end up sedating him to get x-rays and blood work done. Turns out he's diabetic. He's now got special food and I'm monitoring his water intake so the vet can work out if he needs insulin. The vet wants to be as hands off as possible and this is the way to do it.


Longer update later, she sleeps and I don't want to sit on the computer for too long.

Sooo tired

Alexiss continues to sleep in increments. I've been averaging 4 to 5 hours sleep a night making the late afternoons a struggle. She's napping now, dare I try? She's got an uncanny knack for taking short naps when I try to nap with her and just as I fall asleep, she wakes.

She's starting to move around in her crib which makes The Momma a nervous sleeper. Last night she rolled onto her tummy to sleep for a short while but she seems to like sleeping on her side a bit better. I moved the baby monitor from the corner of her crib to the nightstand for safety reasons and it made me a bit sad. When it was close I would fall asleep to the rhythmic sound of her breathing but now it's too far. It was the most calming sound ever and made my heart happy.

I'm glad it's warming up so she won't need as many blankets to keep her warm and get in her way, that's one less thing to worry me so much. I swear I've never worried so much about normal everyday things. Being a Momma raises fears just a little bit higher when before I'd take what came my way.

Well, if I'm gonna try napping, I better do it now while the getting is good.

Just a poem

Found this and just had to share

Stars and Magic

Believe in the faeries
That make dreams come true,
Believe in the wonder
The stars and the moon

Believe in the magic
From the faeries above,
They dance on the flowers
And sing songs of love

And if you just believe
And always stay true
The faeries will be there
To watch over you!

~ Author Unknown

Feeding the body, mind and soul (with food, sleep and prayer)

The trend so far this week is for Alexiss to wake early with a soakin wet diaper. At least I know she's hydrated, heh. She wakes very groggy and still sleepy but stays awake for formula and brekkie then drifts back off for a few more hours. I'm glad she's getting her sleep...but the Momma isn't.

She's starting to make herself giggle, I LOVE it! She likes when I make faces, but giggles up to now have only been when I "pretend" to nom on her sides, when I poke her with a bottle saying "shake-a, shake-a, shake-a" and when gently scaring her by ignoring her then turning quickly and saying something loudly (like "bacon"). Her giggles are so sweet, I hope she starts giggling more with less work to make it happen.

I'm at a cross roads for food with her. I want to nourish her play-exploring with food as much as possible. She wants to feed herself but she's still in the mushy food stage, she's grabbed the spoon and helped me feed her from the beginning of eating solids. We did "play" with small well cooked carrots (to prevent choking), but she didn't get any in her mouth, she also plays and explores the textures of her mushy food. Sometimes just by dipping her fingers in the bowl and a few times grabbing what she could, mushing it through her fingers and smearing it all over her high chair tray. I also tried quick dissolving rice crackers and she had fun and enjoyed it, but I don't think she liked the taste much because she's not so interested in them anymore. All the other finger foods for babies at the grocery store are made for babies over the age of one. I was going to go to Moms and Tots today to ask other moms, but..... the babe-she sleeps, and I think that's more important. There's always next week.

I've been wanting to find some general morning and bedtime prayers, one's that will work no matter which spiritual path she finds as she grows and one's that remind us (her) to be aware of her spirit and the world and people around her. I guess it's as much for me as it is for her, I find stopping for a moment to recite powerful words keep me in touch with my spirit in a world that seems to give way for the daily rush and duties. So often we forget to nurture the pure love and light within us. It's calming, soothing and, yes, brings that little spark of joy and faith into what can become the mundane.

It could take a bit of searching, gathering and trial, and you may see many posted on the blog until I find the one's that are juuuust right. I promise to let you all know what we decide on (when we do) and if it feels right, join us in your own time and take comfort and connect more with Alexiss by sharing this special rite.

For consideration from the Pagan Prayer Project (may be modified when and if we decide to use them ):

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General prayer

May the universe give me a heart of humility,
May I always stand up for that which cannot,
May I be thoughful to all that surrounds me,
May I love and appreciate what I have,
May I feel condfident in myself,
May I rejoice in being, me.
posted by resinartisan

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Morning Prayer

“As the sun rises and greets my day, may it shine bright as I learn and play. May I be guided to do what’s right, May judgement never enter my day. May I enjoy being me a child of blessed heart and help light the way, So mote it be.”
posted by Magicksky

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A Child’s Wishing Prayer

A special little magick wish
Is one I make tonight
I wish it to the sun, the moon
And stars shining so bright
I give my magick to the wind
And to the Earth below
So my wishes may be heard
To manifest and grow.

- Eleanor Townsend

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Nighttime Prayer for Protecting Children

Sleep well, my blessed child
Snuggle up and close your eyes
Drift into dreamland, where you’ll play
While magickal friends keep you safe.

Fae dance gently around your bed
Sprinkling sweet dreams inside your head
While mighty Dragons guard your doorway
And keep unwelcome things away.

As you dream so sweet tonight
You’re protected by a rainbow light
The Goddess and God watch over you
Keeping you safe the whole night through.

- Eleanor Townsend

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A favorite prayer of mine

the dominion of dreams : under a dark star - fiona macleod - 1895

Short version
Deep peace of the running wave to you.
Deep peace of the flowing air to you.
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.
Deep peace of the shining stars to you.
Deep peace of the infinite peace to you.

Long Version:
Deep peace I breathe into you, O weariness, here:
O ache, here!
Deep peace, a soft white dove to You;
Deep peace, a quiet rain to you;
Deep peace, an ebbing wave to you!
Deep peace, red wind of the east from you;
Deep peace, grey wind of the west to You;
Deep peace, dark wind of the north from you;
Deep peace, blue wind of the south to you!
Deep peace, pure red of the flame to you;
Deep peace, pure white of the moon to you;
Deep peace, pure green of the grass to you;
Deep peace, pure brown of the earth to you;
Deep peace, pure grey of the dew to you,
Deep peace, pure blue of the sky to you!
Deep peace of the running wave to you,
Deep peace of the flowing air to you,
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you,
Deep peace of the sleeping stones to you!
Deep peace of the Yellow Shepherd to you,
Deep peace of the Wandering Shepherdess to you,
Deep peace of the Flock of Stars to you,
Deep peace from the Son of Peace to you,
Deep peace from the heart of Mary to you,
And from Briget of the Mantle
Deep peace, deep peace!
And with the kindness too of the Haughty Father
Peace!
In the name of the Three who are One,
Peace!
And by the will of the King of the Elements,

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nom nom nom buahahahah!

She's done it! And she's PROUD! She can finally get her feet to her mouth, and she's so proud of herself (she's been working hard on this one) that she giggles instead of enjoying the fruit of her labours.

Mother's Day was just the way I like it, low key and not a lot of extra hoopla. I got a card from Mark, one from Alexiss and one from my Mom that made me chuckle a little (sorry Mom, I know it was meant to be an "awwww-love-you-too-Mom, kinda response). It was just the moment, Alexiss was being fussy and my mom wrote that now, as a mom, I'd understand more of how she feels about me, the thought that popped in my head was "yep, I'm a pain in the @ss but you still love me". Not as heartfelt as I'm sure it was intended, but the word love was in there at least...right Mom? heh.

I've been letting her "help" me feed her, it's making a mess but we're having fun.... and she's learning (that's the important part).

After just under a week of successfully napping in the crib, I think I can safely say we've broken The-Mamma-Pillow habit and we've moved onto The-Mamma-gets-a-hot-tea habit.

Here's a picture of Alexiss looking at me with a "What do I do NOW?" kinda plead when she got her foam mat a little stuck on her arm.

A sharing and laughing kinda day!

Another day with napping in the crib! I dare not get used to it yet, but it's been a treat. I think Alexiss is getting better quality naps as well. The house is finally getting some much needed attention too. At this rate, I'll finally get "Thank you" cards done before her first birthday rolls around.

Today she stunned us by sharing her teething toy with Mark. She shoved it right in his mouth! Then she chewed on the other end! We laughed and she joined in the family laugh, it was one of the moments that make me feel like we can be a happy family and laugh together, instead of fighting and crying to communicate.

She also has started to mimic me. When I tickle her I make a "kkk kkkk kkk" kinda laugh and today she did the same back.... more than once.

Alexiss made herself laugh today too. She almost had her toes in her mouth, she's been working on it for awhile now. I think she was proud of herself and laughed. Of course, that didn't help her achieve her goal, but it's coming!

She was really curious when I stuck out my tongue at her, and being the Momma and wanting her to be able to explore whatever her curious mind wants to... let her touch it... and ANOTHER laugh and giggle at that!

It's 9:00 and Alexiss is already in bed. I've got a hot decaf Earl Grey waiting for me while I wait to make sure she's sleeping soundly. Perhaps tonight we'll all get a good night's sleep.... if only I could do something about Mark's snoring now. :)

Bounced back!

Friday Alexiss was back to her bouncy energetic self, demanding food and more activity than just sitting in different spots in the living room. I finally relented and with a bit of apprehension and put her in her bouncer. She was HAPpy! She still had some catch up time with eating and sleeping, but today I think she's totally back to herself.

I've started trying scheduled nap times in her crib through out the day to give me a chance to get things done... and have some alone time. So far, so good. It's only been a few days and I haven't stuck to it like glue. Weekends are harder to keep things going with the extra excitement of Daddy being home. But as I type she is sleeping soundly all cozy in her crib. She still fights sleep and gives a good attempt at crying to let me know "do not want", even as her eyes get heavy, she gives one last fight and finally settles in.

She's actually playing a simple version of soccer by sitting on the floor and kicking all ball back and forth. Mark started it and she caught on quick, even using her hands to position the ball just right. She likes it so much she tries with some not-so-round toys too. Mark is a very interactive player and this is something they can do together and both can play, instead of Alexiss watching Mark play. She's been a kicker from the get-go, kicking at me when I changed her or had her in her high chair.

Last weekend when we were sick, Mark didn't know how sick we were and started our ham dinner. By the time it was cooked, I just wanted it out of the house and couldn't even look at it. So, we gave it to our neighbors, they thanked us by inviting us over for dinner last night. It was a bit hard with her still making up for being sick with naps, and of course, she decided she was hungry right as I sat down to eat. I tried to calm her enough to not make me feel rude, but in the end there were two trips home, the first to try mixing some rice cereal and bringing it back over, and then another trip with Alexiss in tow when she wouldn't eat the rice cereal and demanded formula instead. She gets so distracted that it was easier to just bring her home to feed her.


While she was sick I realized just what a great tool Skype is and how much Alexiss appreciates it too! Mom had called quickly to say hello when my Nana and Uncle were over for Easter Dinner. Because we were both sick, it was a short call.... too short for Alexiss's liking. She actually pouted when Gramma said "bye". And I noticed this week, when I fire up Skype, Alexiss got a bit happier and anticipated seeing Gramma!