New Year, New Room, New Outfit, New Attitude

Happy New Year family and friends! Matt, Cindi and Malcolm came for a visit this weekend, we had tons of fun and Alexiss loved having the constant attention and lovings and I loved the break. Having another Mommy around made me see and admit that women and men aren't always created equal. Without knowing our routine Cindi amazingly did the same things I do. All the sleep I caught up on went out the window over the last few days though, we stayed up way too late on the Wii Saturday night. Then Alexiss recuperated from all the Saturday night- Sunday morning/afternoon fun by sleeping all late afternoon into the evening... so she was well rested and was up every three hours last night... so I didn't get much sleep last night either.

A dog named Harley joined us for the sleepover too! He was sauntering around the neighborhood so we brought him in. The next morning the people who are dog sitting serendipitously picked him up. They live just across the street and are dog sitting for their daughter..for the last time. lol Seems Harley should be named Houdini instead, somehow he opened the door himself for a midnight stroll and they had no idea until the temperature in the house dropped and got cold enough to wake them!

I felt very apprehensive when Mark started mentioning how he'd like to move Alexiss's crib from our room to hers. It made me a little sad and lonely, but the monitor from Uncle Gerry and Aunt Jacqueline is working wonderfully and Alexiss is getting a better night sleep without Daddy's loud snores!

now.....a brief pause in our regularly scheduled blog entry to bring to you Alexiss sporting some of her wonderful outfits!


Alexiss is cowboy's dream in her flared cow print pant bottoms and green grass frills! Thanks to Ron and Gail!

When she's not out carousing and stomping her boots Alexiss is the perfect little lady in this light pink super soft three button jacket ensemble courtesy of Glenn Marno

Of course our little princess likes to kick back in stylish sweats when relaxing at home. Thanks to Oma and Opa, she's well coordinated in blue polka dots and flowers on earthy brown fleece.

Then there's the odd time we say "nevermind fashionable...let's be silly and have FUN!!!"



Last week I hit an all new low with news that my postpartum blood glucose test is showing thar I still have a sugar intolerance. This week I'll find out more, Alexiss and I have her 3 month check up (a little late). The news itself was enough to peak my anger. I will never question Alexiss coming into our family and trust and have faith that life always takes us where we are meant to be..and that challenges present paths and opportunities we wouldn't walk otherwise, but this really is a tough one testing my faith and threatening to break my spirit unless I learn to let go of the old and go with the flow. But I fight and struggle and mourn while hanging onto what was my freedom and independence. I love Alexiss to pieces and wouldn't want life any different but I'm not loving mommyhood as much as some. I think some Mom's love that feeling of being needed, I'm finding it overbearing, intrusive and overwhelming, couple that with Alexiss being a fussy baby and some days are tough.

Mark has been wonderful and helpful, I honestly believe he's the only one I could get through this with, this has put a strain on our general content household. After being angry about the impact the further monitoring and eating schedule will have on my time, time and flexibility I don't have, I decided I have three options; keep going as I've been (making Mark and Alexiss miserable and converting our happy aura to one of tension), runaway (not a good solution, I've seen what can happen and besides...I don't wanna!) or re-prioritize my life (reminding myself that a career and finding worth in my job does not compare to having a loving home). So, although I'm sure I'll still have bad days, I'm ready to let the past me go and stop fighting this new path in life.

I keep hoping the silver lining of the glucose tests will be getting a referral to an endocrinologist instead of lectures about weight and depression. Seriously.. thyroid issues, having no flight or fight reactions, inflammation in my joints after light exercise, 5 failed hormonal induction attempts, being cold all day and hot at night (messed up circadian rhythm) and now sugar intolerance (to name a few things) all point to a crappy endocrine system.