Top o the mornin!

Off grocery shopping for us today and I'm feeling more confident getting out and about, it seems Alexiss makes leaps and bounds and the changes in behavior come really quickly. Maybe the more she masters her body the happier and more content she becomes, it seems like this week she's mastered reaching and touching within days and is smiling and not as frustrated with life in general. She's also showing some major thought and memory processes, instead of yelling for food like she's never been fed, she hears the kettle boiling, sees her bottle and so nicely has the patience to wait! And when we settle in for her meal she reaches to the bottle before I can get it to her. She's been touching everything and trying to explore it with her mouth.. of course there's some things that just doesn't work for.... like my foot!

She's spacing out right now to Cat Stevens on the iTouch and an application that has dancing trailing lights . She looks at me once in awhile and when I look back she gives me a smile! Yesterday while I was busy she was in her bouncer. I noticed she got quiet so I looked up and she was staring at me! Last night for down time I turned on Blue's Clues for her, I could tell all she could think was "I'm stuck in my swing" and proceeded to tell me she didn't like that part of her night. As soon as I picked her up she started squealing and show her excitement to be up to Steve, the host of Blue's Clues... something tells me she's got a crush on him! She's been talking to him too. It would seem strange but he talks to her first, he constantly talks to the camera like he was talking right to her, she LOVES it!

Today Ron and Gail arrive and meet Alexiss for the first time! Then Matt and Cindy, maybe Cindy's son Malcolm and they're bringing their new puppy, Genghis. Matt is convinced Alexiss misses him!

The assessor came to appraise the house yesterday so we can get our finances all nice and neat at one bank instead of student loans all over the place. Is it silly that I'm excited about it? We've got four student loans/lines of credit scattered across a few banks. For the sake of convenience and organization I'm going to close my CIBC bank accounts as well. I've hung onto keeping one CIBC account open, it's my very first account from my early teens! We're both closing our other bank accounts.....so we've got a joint account and each of us has a savings account at Scotia. Scotia has amazing saving helper.. there is a 5 dollar fee to pay for something directly out of a savings account, the idea is to force you to stop and think about spending savings, then transferring it to the joint account before spending it. It makes it a bit more difficult to use your savings and give pause to think before spending. They also do this amazing thing...when you use your bank card to pay at a store, it rounds up to the next dollar and SAVES the extra pennies in our savings account! What a fantastic idea! Since Mark is usually out daily and purchases more often I tried to switch our cards so I'd get the extra... lol.

Bounce bounce bounce

Today we danced to Cake and played in the new jumper. Then off to Calgary to pick up Debbie because Mark's working overtime.

At first Alexiss couldn't take much of the bouncer without getting overwhelmed, but now she's loving it and has snubbed her nose at the playmat for bigger and more interesting things.


Yesterday was a snack all day kinda day, which was frustrating for me and made it difficult to know exactly how much she ate all day, but them's the breaks!

She's been reaching for my tea mug! Good girl! And starting to get interested in food. The health organization recommends starting foods at 6 months, it's better for their digestive system somehow, let's hope she holds out that long.

My heart melts when she reaches up to caress my face, talks to me while eating or laughs when playing with Mark and I'm in another room in the house. For being so small she definitely fills the house with energy!

I added a ticker in the blog, see the pretty cartoon purple flowers? They'll keep track of how old Alexiss is. It's hard to believe she's 4 months already, I've started feeling a little panicky as time seems to go so fast and I don't want to leave her and go back to work anytime soon. I wonder if they'll let me bring her to work everyday. lol.

Yesterday was our second round of immunization. Alexiss isn't sleeping this one off as much as last time, she's whiny but she's still being a trooper. I don't know what I'd do this week without Mark! He's keeping her laughing and laughing.

It's amazing how fast she changes and grows! She's starting to play silly games while eating or being changed and is making herself laugh! She's been playing with the nipple on the bottle without really drinking, the whole while looking at me to see if I'm noticing! I show her I am by moving the nipple around in her mouth..to which is sure to bring a smile to both of us!

I'm tired this week so I'm having a hard time keeping her busy, but she better enjoy and rest up..we got company coming this weekend! Ron and Gail are coming on Friday and if they stay long enough on Saturday, they'll get to see Matt and Cindy!

Good night I said!!!

I'm starting to see a direct relation to the amount of formula Alexiss has had all day and how easy or long and difficult bedtime is. After breaking down Sunday night because she just would not go to bed, I figured there must be something. It was a cooincidence that I started writing down and keeping track of how much she drinks in a day, but I think I've stumbled upon a "eureka" because of it. I love when things just mesh and random acts seem to combine to a solution. It's one of the things I love about working at Raytheon; pulling data and processes together, picking them apart, throwing in some random discoveries.. and voila!... it starts to add up and make sense. I don't know how I go off into the random things that will help me instead of random things that are a waste of time.. intuition perhaps?

Tonight as I struggled with the bed-time-just-go-to-sleep-already game, it started coming together. Today she was below her normal consumption and while she keeps falling asleep (making me think it's almost "me" time), as soon as I put her down she wakes within 1 to 15 minutes later. Now this is enough to drive anyone crazy and wear down patience. Sunday night it meant two cold teas and me in tears out of frustration and a feeling like my day would never end. Tonight it lead to three hours of holding Alexiss as she dozed, ate and woke up, a sore shoulder and thinking my day was done three times over. And let me tell you, after going all day I want nothing more than quiet time... did I mention Alexiss does not sleep during the day well? She naps while eating.. often giving me no sanity break during the day. So let me tell you.. I really look forward to calling it a day.

You bet your sweet bippy from now on, I'm going to continue to watch what she eats and get her close to her daily amount before I even consider and dream that it's really bedtime.

Emotionally she rebounds from a bad day well, I used to think her fighting sleep was emotional.. now I know it's physical.

Maybe.... just maybe.. this means better bedtimes after this discovery!

She's a growing girl!

Alexiss and I have been spending lots of time together during the day and just hanging out, it's been a great week. We've been enjoying each other's company so much that she's even smiling at me while she's trying to eat....then the formula dribbles out of her mouth. lol Her giggle times before this week were usually only when she was being changed, but now it's when we're sitting together.

I've been pulling her up to a sitting position and letting her "stand" too, I think she really likes both.

This is the second full moon that I've noticed she's a little more volatile to mood swings and crankiness. I'm going to keep an eye out for it and see if it's just a coincidence.

It seemed like overnight her 3 month old clothes stopped fitting! Some of those sleepers were so cute I hate to see them go. Mom asked me to save them to make a blanket out of later.

Today I swear she was answering Steve back when watching Blue's Clues. Steve, the host, talks to the tv and there's usually a pause and then some kids voices answering. Today when he asked a question, Alexiss talked back. She's so cute and getting more and more interactive and cognitive of things going on around her, instead of just living for the necessities of life.

Join me up!

I just can't resist sharing this entry from http://dooce.com

I'd totally be a groupie

Last night we had snacks and drinks with some close friends and inevitably the men all ended up on the couch talking about nerd-related topics while the women corralled the kids and discussed More Important Things: childcare, work, what was Natalie Portman going to wear to the Golden globes?

My friend has struggled with the decision to increase the hours her son is in daycare, and the dilemma is made all the more unsettling because nosy people keep asking, "So when are you going back to work?" Lemme just go ahead and fist pump all the stay-at-home parents out there who want to yell OH HELL, NO.

Have you ever been a stay-at-home parent? Do you have any idea the amount of rigorous work and emotion it requires? The tireless hours of performing tasks that will never earn you a raise or a gold star or even be acknowledged by another human being? Cause Imma let you shut your mouth if you haven't.

Anyway, my friend was like, no, I'm not going back to work anytime soon. In fact, I'm going to sit on my butt and listen to the quiet.

And I was like, The Quiet? Who is this band, and why have I not heard of them?

Someone has got to make this happen. Someone has got to put a band together that just stands still on stage, their guitars hanging languidly around their necks, the keyboard and drum set untouched. And in order to buy a ticket you have to be a parent. And you can't bring your kids. And you just sit there in the theater with all these other parents basking in the exhilarating silence of it all.

.....

"What'd you do last night?"

"My husband and I went downtown to see The Quiet."

"Oh yeah? I've heard they're pretty good live."

"You've no idea. The track I downloaded from iTunes doesn't do them justice."

.....

I told Jon about this idea on the way home, and skeptically he asked, "You can't even talk while you're sitting there?"

Um, no, I explained. In fact, if you say one word the security guards will come yank you out of your seat, drag you to an airtight room filled with screaming toddlers covered in peanut butter who have been ordered to try and climb into your lap.

And you have to sit there for as many minutes as you are old.

How to stay warm on a blustery day

The snow had almost melted but the wind began to blow
Saturday night, Sunday night..no where did we go
It howled both nights,
The drifts! "What a sight"!
Five feet high!
Oh my my my!
The entrance blocked
Thank goodness the cupboards were stocked!
Today, the sun shining and everyone is dug out
Tomorrow, back to work, now that's a reason to pout!

How to stay warm on a blustery day

Suggestion 1: Make soup!

I used the recipe without measuring, used whatever steak we had, used egg noodles instead of fettuccine, veggie broth instead of beef and fresh ginger.

I sauteed the garlic, the orange rind and ginger in oil, then added the thin steak strips. When the steak strips were browned I added as much veggie broth as I wanted, then added fennel seeds, cinnamon and chili pepper. Dumped in some egg noodles, when the noodles were cooked I added the soy sauce, green onions and spinach. mmmm mmmm.

Beef and Noodle Soup

Ingredients:
1 tsp vegetable oil
12 oz top sirloin grilling steak
2 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
1/2 tsp grated orange rind
1/4 tsp ground ginger
pinch cinnamon
pinch ground fennel
pinch hot pepper flakes
3 cups beef stock
2 tbsp soy sauce
4 oz fettuccine
4 cups spinach leaves
2 green onions

Directions:

1. In a large saucepan, heat vegetable oil over medium-high heat: brown beef, in batches, about 2 minutes. Transfer beef to a plate.
2. Add garlic, orange rind, ginger, cinnamon, fennel and hot pepper flakes; cook over medium heat until fragrant, about 1 minute
3. Add stock, 2 cups water; bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 8 minutes. Skim off any foam. Stir in soy sauce.
4. Meanwhile, in a large pot of boiling salted water, cook fettuccine until tender but firm, about 10 minutes. Drain
5. Divide fettuccine, beef and spinach among soup bowls. Add broth; sprinkle with onions.

Makes 4 servings.

Suggestion 2: Pretend it's summer!



Suggestion 3: Sit by the fire and read a book



Suggestion 4: Chili Hot Chocolate

The Mayans and the Aztecs mixed their hot chocolate with chilies. They knew a good thing when they tasted it.

Ingredients:
4 ounces Scharffen Berger 99% Unsweetened Chocolate, chopped
2 1/2 cups milk
1/3-1/2 cup sugar
3/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/8-1/4 teaspoon ground chili pepper

Directions:
1. Warm milk in a heavy saucepan until it is hot to the touch.
2. Add chopped chocolate and sugar, whisking until well blended.
3. Add cinnamon and chili powder, whisking thoroughly.
4. Heat thoroughly over low-medium heat without bringing to a boil and serve.

Makes about 5 servings.

Suggestion 5: cuddle and nap lots!

Now I understand!

Now I understand:

• why "In a minute" drove my mom mental
• just how heartfelt Mom's "Thanks" were when when I helped at home
  
• the reality of a "Mom's club". No one else can truly grasp mommy-hood and all that it entails better than other moms
• taking time on your birthday to celebrate and use a birthday as a reason to take a break. We Moms deserve it tenfold!
• banking all in one place
• being flexible with time out and about. It's never certain how much time we've got before things get scary...we could get nothing done or a few extras
• when used wisely TV is a good thing to help with downtime
• why you do dishes ..... now not later
  
• why you tidy up as you go
• why money doesn't matter the most in life (well, I always knew this one, but this helps me appreciate it). Alexiss needs attention, protection and love more than the latest and greatest toys..plus where would we put it all!
• even though it kills me to say it..... men and women are created differently
• turning bathroom time into private time
• turning bathroom time into family together time
• 11:00 PM IS a good time for housework
• everything is machine washable, and if it's not, it will be
• Bailey's and coffee
  

Even with a storm brewing outside we're all cozy and ready for a relaxing weekend inside! Our mortgage renewed with a positive path presented to us to reign in finances so we'll be able to help Alexiss with school or some type of kick off to her career.


It's a wonderful birthday weekend, perogies are in the freezer, groceries are done, Alexiss is having a good day and the house is already tidy. Being a mom has changed things, absolutely. This year I'm finding my birthday isn't just a day, it's turned into me knowing I deserve a bit of a break. And although what hasn't changed is me not liking the hoop-la that goes with it, it is nice to have a day to play the "It's my birthday" card. hehehehe. Typically we just agree, "K, $50 for online buying, go buy yourself something". Mark surprised me with some gifts that were on my wishlist! This beautiful new wall mounted mask is going to go on the wall beside the sliding back doors.

Mark has a new favorite chocolate bar, sometimes Mark and I treat ourselves to a Lindt chocolate bar when we grocery shop. This week he made a point of heading to the chocolate bar section and I knew our sharing days of a chocolate bar are over. He's all territorial with his "Lindt Excellence Chili Bar" and wasn't interested in sharing at all!

We had a doctor's appt this week, Alexiss's 3 month check up. It went so well that the next one we need to go in for is at her six month mark. She is now 23 3/4 inches long and weighs 13.145 lbs. The doctor wasn't as interested as I'd hoped she'd be with my glucose tests and how things are connected, her answer was typical and expected... but I was only disappointed and my feeling of defeat only lasted a night. Now I'm going to try a different route and find an Endocrinologist who doesn't need a referral.

Okay! Picture time! The adorable pink knit hoodie and pants are from Uncle Gerry and Aunt Jacqueline and the John Deere Argyle long sleeve onsie is part of a outfit from none other than the Glanvilles (Lorne and Bonnie).

New Year, New Room, New Outfit, New Attitude

Happy New Year family and friends! Matt, Cindi and Malcolm came for a visit this weekend, we had tons of fun and Alexiss loved having the constant attention and lovings and I loved the break. Having another Mommy around made me see and admit that women and men aren't always created equal. Without knowing our routine Cindi amazingly did the same things I do. All the sleep I caught up on went out the window over the last few days though, we stayed up way too late on the Wii Saturday night. Then Alexiss recuperated from all the Saturday night- Sunday morning/afternoon fun by sleeping all late afternoon into the evening... so she was well rested and was up every three hours last night... so I didn't get much sleep last night either.

A dog named Harley joined us for the sleepover too! He was sauntering around the neighborhood so we brought him in. The next morning the people who are dog sitting serendipitously picked him up. They live just across the street and are dog sitting for their daughter..for the last time. lol Seems Harley should be named Houdini instead, somehow he opened the door himself for a midnight stroll and they had no idea until the temperature in the house dropped and got cold enough to wake them!

I felt very apprehensive when Mark started mentioning how he'd like to move Alexiss's crib from our room to hers. It made me a little sad and lonely, but the monitor from Uncle Gerry and Aunt Jacqueline is working wonderfully and Alexiss is getting a better night sleep without Daddy's loud snores!

now.....a brief pause in our regularly scheduled blog entry to bring to you Alexiss sporting some of her wonderful outfits!


Alexiss is cowboy's dream in her flared cow print pant bottoms and green grass frills! Thanks to Ron and Gail!

When she's not out carousing and stomping her boots Alexiss is the perfect little lady in this light pink super soft three button jacket ensemble courtesy of Glenn Marno

Of course our little princess likes to kick back in stylish sweats when relaxing at home. Thanks to Oma and Opa, she's well coordinated in blue polka dots and flowers on earthy brown fleece.

Then there's the odd time we say "nevermind fashionable...let's be silly and have FUN!!!"



Last week I hit an all new low with news that my postpartum blood glucose test is showing thar I still have a sugar intolerance. This week I'll find out more, Alexiss and I have her 3 month check up (a little late). The news itself was enough to peak my anger. I will never question Alexiss coming into our family and trust and have faith that life always takes us where we are meant to be..and that challenges present paths and opportunities we wouldn't walk otherwise, but this really is a tough one testing my faith and threatening to break my spirit unless I learn to let go of the old and go with the flow. But I fight and struggle and mourn while hanging onto what was my freedom and independence. I love Alexiss to pieces and wouldn't want life any different but I'm not loving mommyhood as much as some. I think some Mom's love that feeling of being needed, I'm finding it overbearing, intrusive and overwhelming, couple that with Alexiss being a fussy baby and some days are tough.

Mark has been wonderful and helpful, I honestly believe he's the only one I could get through this with, this has put a strain on our general content household. After being angry about the impact the further monitoring and eating schedule will have on my time, time and flexibility I don't have, I decided I have three options; keep going as I've been (making Mark and Alexiss miserable and converting our happy aura to one of tension), runaway (not a good solution, I've seen what can happen and besides...I don't wanna!) or re-prioritize my life (reminding myself that a career and finding worth in my job does not compare to having a loving home). So, although I'm sure I'll still have bad days, I'm ready to let the past me go and stop fighting this new path in life.

I keep hoping the silver lining of the glucose tests will be getting a referral to an endocrinologist instead of lectures about weight and depression. Seriously.. thyroid issues, having no flight or fight reactions, inflammation in my joints after light exercise, 5 failed hormonal induction attempts, being cold all day and hot at night (messed up circadian rhythm) and now sugar intolerance (to name a few things) all point to a crappy endocrine system.