It's my favorite

Quotes of the week:

"Hello, one golf ball, where arrre youuu?"

"It's my favorite".... everything is Ali's favorite this week.

"I'm Dora Fluttershy Cat" or "I'm Princess Fluttershy Cat"

Today we went to the splash pad park in Strathmore, if only I tried it out earlier in the summer!!!! We weren't planning on it, so Ali put her pretend towel on my shoulder and ran off in her clothes. By the end of it, she was totally soaked, so our Princess Fluttershy Cat rode home nekkid!

Sorry for the whoosh of wind, it's been a windy day.

The art of apology

Being the person I want my child to become is harder than I'd imagined. We all know what's right and wrong but we all carry baggage and personality traits that harbor irritation at some things. Why should we expect our children to be any different and why do we expect them to be what we cannot?

What a life lesson our children teach us! How many character flaws come to light when a sweet innocent child makes us more aware of how we are seen outwardly in society?

What's becoming more obvious is the art of saying sorry without shame and self-detriment and with a feeling of empowerment. Everyone makes mistakes. We are all perfectly ourselves but we are not perfectly kind, patient and always loving. Making mistakes is a part of learning, apologizing is a part of showing respect and a way to show kindness when our initial reaction fails us.

I've always known my initial thoughts are sometimes judgmental and harsh, it's the reason I don't always share my first thoughts. The more I talk to others, the more they acknowledge first thoughts aren't always the nicest and are not what they really end up thinking. I believe it's our second thoughts and third thoughts that are who we really are, it's unfortunate society usually sees and reacts to our first thoughts only. Those close to us, those who ask questions, those who have patience to see through it are those who know us best. That, to me, is a part of loving someone.

So, I wish to help Ali learn the art of apologizing without feeling bad about herself, but also to learn from it and possibly not have to keep saying sorry for the same thing. Tough order if you ask me. I guess on the other hand, it's also important to teach how to accept apologies without making the other person feel shame.

The first step, I think, is to know what happened and what we are really saying sorry for then accepting that we made a mistake and make peace with it. Then the hard part, approaching the person to say sorry to because let's face it, that person could get high on their horse and take that apology and make you feel even worse by telling you what you should've done or why what you did is "bad". I choose to let others choose, and own, their own reactions, I can only control me, they have their own issues and while it effects me, it's not a part of me. A quote I love is "I'm only responsible for what I say not for what you understand." I do my part to be okay with me and my behavior and know that I'm doing all I can to be a good person. That's all a girl can do really. 

The other shoe is to accept apologies gracefully, without blame. I don't know if that's something I'm good at doing honestly. I mean, if you make someone feel worse while they are trying to own up to something, do you really think they're going to open up to you? Some may, but some may just kinda shut down and feel worse about themselves. Not cool, and not the intent of an apology. I think the best reaction would be to thank the person and be kind, end of story. There's a time for talking through issues and fights, but I don't think this is the time, considering the already heightened feelings, guilt and self righteousness. I may be wrong on that account though, I'll have to give it a bit more thought.

Accepting an apology does mean forgiving, it does not mean you have to continually put yourself in the same position over and over again with the same person. I know as a human we are supposed to love all our fellow neighbors, but I'm going to throw a big "but" in there.  There are people we just don't see eye to eye with and that's okay. No need to be unkind but perhaps if you can't deal with your reasons and hold back it's best to leave well enough alone and live and let live.

That's not snow...or hail.

So I couldn't put this with the other thoughtful post, it just didn't seem right.

Today I had a neighbor come by to look at yarn. At first Ali was a peach and helped "stock" my shelves. When that was done, she was bored. I resorted to distraction through the iPad after she mentioned Toopee and Binoo (a cartoon). A few minutes later I'd realized that Ali did indeed leave the room and let me talk to my neighbor buuuuuuut I wasn't hearing Toopee being silly. Yep, that silence that every mom knows. I peeked my head around the corner to an open back door. What I found was an indoor cat wandering around outside and having to step over a full bag of dumped out bird seed on the porch. Ali was keeping herself busy sitting in her upside down and opened Hello Kitty umbrella playing with the bird seed she'd dumped in it.

(Birdseed has hence been cleaned up, the cat is in the house, I made a sale and everything is back as it was.)

Learn to love others and yourself.

I'm finding it difficult to separate and accept behaviors in the world as they impact Ali. If a child unknowingly does something that I feel would affect Ali in an emotionally negative way, I get a little irked at that child, not fair of me and not what I wish for at all; not for Ali if she were the one to let go and have fun without thinking of how it affects the world around her, not for Ali to treat a fellow child as I'm feeling toward the other child and just... not. I'm appalled at my own behavior and hope it's not showing outward as much as I'm feeling it inward. I'm finding, through Ali I'm continuing to grow and be aware. In the past I've prided myself on being self aware, open minded, non-judgemental and if not kind, then at least not mean.

I write this to get it out, to vent, to....think, to remind myself for next time, perhaps maybe I'll catch myself and remember the words I've typed here and take it to heart. Somehow my written word drives things home a little more than thoughts bouncing around my noggin or words flying out of my mouth. I sit and stew as I pause and re-read, editing and rewording til it's just right.

I don't expect a young child to see their ripples in the world, they are their own world and the rest is just a playground to learn and grow. There does come a time when a toddler does need to become more aware and alert to others but I'm really not sure what age that would be and will have to trust that as a mom, for now, I'm the one alert enough to intercede until Ali catches on and learns by example and grows her own conscious. I really think that Ali will catch onto this one young, she already shows concern when a playmate is hurt and is the first to rush over and give a pat or a hug.

As an adult there does come a time when you have to throw all else to the wind no matter and "be" no matter how it effects others as they perceive it, but children are so sensitive and naive with no filter. And I don't mean hurting others to get ahead or to disregard others, but to live as she feels is right for her, making decisions, making mistakes and learning through life, through all her life as a toddler through to her ripe old retirement, never stop living, being, doing, learning. As an adult I think sometimes we often do for others more for ourselves and need to remember to do for ourselves, be ourselves and  listen to our own hearts. Our hearts know the truth of what we desire and the entire story with all aspects and baggage, hopes and fears. Our truth is not something that cannot be told and understood in it's entirety through verbal discussion, it cannot be understood to anyone other than ourselves. And we don't often take time to find our own hearts through all the static and noise of society and others.

Ali's going to have her struggles growing up as the youngest in a batch of many kids. I just hope, as a mom, I teach her to love through it (others and herself) and not take it personally. I wish for her to be kind, grow strong, love herself and not feel like she needs to change to make anyone like her.

Quotable

Ali's quote of the week:

While getting onto a busy highway....
"Look at the mess of cars! Watchout!"

Momma quote of the week:

After watching Ali pretending to be a cat and licking just about everything....
"Icky Ali, you can't lick the world"

A great summer day

Today we took full advantage of the beautiful weather, visiting neighbors, eating beans out of the garden, wearing a dress and a skirt, bike riding, sending comfort food to a few neighbors in need of hugs, hanging out with Kee Kee and Bad Bad Leroy then to top it all off, we went to the clubhouse for dinner and 9 holes of golf! Our first golf outing with Ali! Ali was amazing and loved running around helping Dad with the flags and washing his golf balls. As usual, I took the sights in and enjoyed the cooling wind as I drove the golf cart.

That's right! I'm eatin beans out of the garden and wearing a pink frilly skirt under my sundress!

Love em!

Waiting for Dad at the golf course

Nice shot Dad! Whoo Hooo (and clapping) ensued

This morning I was woken up to Mark and Ali fighting. Weekends are nice because I get to sleep in, but being woken up to fighting isn't my idea of a nice wake up call. It's certainly not a hug and a kiss on the cheek! As a mom, I have a hard time not getting irritated when Ali fights with anyone but me because I seem to handle her moods so perfectly and never get mad back (yeah...right..). I know Mark is not me and doesn't handle everything as I would and, although irritating, I know it's none of my business and has nothing to do with me. Dad loves her just as much, Dad cares about her just as much and Dad wants to see the best for her just as much. He also wants her to become a responsible healthy woman just as much. I also realize Ali needs to learn that everyone has bad days and not everyone in the world treats her exactly like I do and who best to be that than her dear ole Dad? So, I've resolved that it's my issue to make peace with not Mark's or Ali's duty to change who they are. They will learn and they will grow and they will love each other regardless of the little fights.

A little dip before bedtime

Tonight Ali visited Kee Kee and Courtney as I went to knitting. Christy (Kee Kee) was kind enough to send me pictures!

This has got to be one of my favorite Ali pictures so far!

Ali, Oli and Courtney... poolside

The great family adventure

On Monday morning we packed up the car and headed for High Prairie to visit Mark's Uncle Ron and Aunt Gail who were hosting a house full of guests including Mark's Grandpa. Ali did amazing considering the drive started at 7:30 AM and lasted until just before dinner. I had a proud Momma moment when Ali refused to pee in a diaper even if it meant frequent pee stops. If only I could figure out why she won't pee in a diaper but will pee down her leg, in her pants, on the couch..etc.

Ali loved playing with Britney and was calling her "sister", even though they are second cousins. I made sure I had the video of them playing together from our trip to St Thomas last year and played it for her a few times before we got there. I didn't know what to do with myself! I turned around and Britney was leading Ali to the bathroom, Britney had even made sure the house was safe for Ali before we arrived and had a notepad and crayons waiting.

What a great bunch of people! Don and Marjorie with Courtney and Britney, Sharon and Matt, Grandpa and Kristy and her beau Max.

Happy to be!

Wearing Britney's hat!

Some good family time

Up close and personal with help from Courtney

After dinner, Mark, Ali and I arrived at our hotel around 9:00. Ali acted like she'd done it a million times. When I asked her which bed she wanted, she made a quick decision and crawled up for sleep. I thought it'd be nice for her to have her own pillow and blanket so we had packed them along with 5 choice stuffies. When I told her to hold on and I'd get her pillow she pointed to the pillow in bed and said "my pillow", when I asked if she wanted her blanket, she pulled up the sheet and crawled in. Even after showing her her home comforts, she was more than happy to snuggle in without them.

On Tuesday we headed back to Ron and Gail's for a yummy brunch before Ali and I traipsed off to the Rodeo with the gang. Ron, Mark and Grandpa stayed behind for a relaxing day at the cabin. Ali got her first taste of a real midway, thanks to Britney for joining us and having fun on the kiddie rides. Ali's first choice was a small fun house and I was totally freaked out because Britney wasn't allowed and Ali was already on her way. I voiced my concern to the man running it, saying I hope she didn't stop or get lost resulting in me having to go get her, when in reality I was just freaked out that she was out of sight. The man was super nice about it and kept pointing to her showing me where she was. Really it was only about 3 ft where I couldn't see her, it was a super short fun house.

Here we go!

Seat belts on!

What a sweet picture

Britney was too big to go on this one, thank goodness the seat belt was a little more than a strap! Whew...

Popcorn and a Sno Cone.

Ali sat and watched some of the Rodeo, but I think it was the popcorn and Sno cone that kept her still. When she was done with that, we had way too many trips up and down the grandstand to go "pee". We said our goodbyes and headed back to go pick Mark up before heading home. Ali almost fell asleep instantly, but again impressed me by "waking" when I told her if she waited til we got back and picked up Dad that she could have a chocolate milk bottle for the long ride.

It really was a great family adventure. I've got a great family!