Becoming a tree nymph

Tonight as she slipped off to sleep, I held her in my arms against me and together we became a tree. We marveled at the nest with the baby birds in it, their warmth lit our branches. A fox came along and brought her cubs to frolic and play. A woodpecker scratched an itch and it felt soooo good. Our long brown skirt heavy, but in a way that made us feel solid and secure. The wind whooshed through our leaves. The leaves reveling in the sunlight and our skin, shaded, cool.

I've always found grounding myself through visualizing and meditating of being a tree one of the best ways to break away from the nervous energy of the day, all the little pings of energy that irritate, that unsettle.

Alexiss hasn't been sleeping well this week, and the fifth night (last night) was the worst. Tonight she fell asleep quite easily and I know both of us were thankful. Yesterday she had gotten a few insect bites, by dinner, it was obvious that she was having a reaction. Because she's so healthy, I really haven't had to give her much care or first aid, so I wasn't even sure I could give her Benadryl. She woke around 12:00, and without having a 24 hour pharmacy nearby, I thought to myself... "we get this under control now or tomorrow during the day.. and neither of us are sleeping anyway, may as well be doing something."

So I woke up poor Mark so I could get ready for a short drive into the Strathmore emerg. It was either that or hoof it all the way into Calgary. Bad use of the emerg health care, but honestly, it was worth it to both of us as we finally and quickly fell asleep at around 4:00.

I'm struggling with being a working Mom. I love my work time, my adult time, my productive time. But I'm finding that I'm torn. Alexiss and Olive get along fine, but I know my bond with her is strong and with me she flourishes and learns, she explores and grows at a different rate. I feel she is more herself with me, or is becoming herself more easily with me. Our bond is very strong and I understand her, I can almost hear her thinking about something she's about to do. Our spirits match.

So, I've got some hard thinking ahead. Mark and I both do. But we do both feel Alexiss needs more time with me than she's been getting. It'll be interesting to see what solution we come up with in the next few months!  

We had another short trip to Ontario as a family for family. Mark's grandmother passed away with loved one nearby to help ease her transition.  It was a sad occasion, but good to see everyone and spend time supporting each other. She will be missed, a very gentle loving woman with an impeccable attention to detail and people. I'm always amazed at how quickly Alexiss warms up to family members, specially the younger ones. It's a treat to see her with other kids. Mark's cousins kids (does that make them second cousins... I think?) Brittany and Courtney love her to pieces and she loves them back. I swear she remembered them from our visit last summer. We did take the opportunity to geo-cache with Opa and spend a day with Pops, watching the squirrels and blue jays come and get their peanuts.