Some days I just don't want to be a parent

What a day! First a toy thrown at me, then it didn't seem to phase her that she's hurt me, physically or emotionally. When I asked her if she threw toys at Dad, she said "No, I like Dad". I tell ya, the things we do to our parents and take for granted. On one hand it's always comforting to know Ali can be who she is and be in whatever moment she's in with me present, on the other hand...it sometimes sucks.

After I got over the hurt, I realized Ali's allowed to not like me. I mean, I always knew it and knew it would happen, but today I got to practice it.  But I took the rest of it personally as lack of respect.

I don't always know how to be a parent, I don't always want to be a parent. How do you teach respect? Demanding it instils fear, not respect, but outwardly it appears as respect. I want the real deal and today I was disrespected. I can teach Ali to use manners, zip her jacket, say please and thank you, share, drive her battery Jeep (okay, she's also self taught, she catches on so quick!), to think of safety. Somehow respect is a tough one. I show her respect, but let's face it, children are in their own little self world. You cannot teach respect just by giving it, she's got no idea. But disrespect her, and boy, does she know it. So she knows lack of respect but doesn't understand the concept of respect... interesting indeed. Showing respect. Well, I can demand it, in a passive way. Don't get me wrong, my urge is not to be passive at all, I wanna yell and fight...roar... disrespect me...I'll teach ya!

I can only speak for Alexiss when I say, anger gets me no where. She does not learn in that environment at all. I can actually see her disassociate and disengage. Today I chose to walk away and talk about how I don't like to play after being hit with a toy, it makes me feel bad. I told her I wasn't feeling good about the way she was treating me and that I didn't have to put up with it.

I have no idea how to be a parent. Today, I didn't want to be a parent.

BUT... after bedtime, when she was sleeping uncomfortably, I quietly went in and fixed her stuffed toys. She rouses and open her eyes to ask me what I'm doing. I whisper "It's okay honey, I'm just fixing your toys, you looked so uncomfortable". She smiles with half open eyes, lift up both hands and gives me two thumbs up.

Now I'm just in love and wanting to be a parent, her parent. Call me sucker cuz tomorrow is another day.

Dear Santa 2014

Dear Santa
I just want you to know I love you. And I have a cold. If you want to... come here.
Bunny is excited and loves you. Bunny likes the tree. I really love you. Bunny hops on the tree all the time. (Bunny likes spongebob, he goes hahahahahah). September I'm going to be 5! That's all it!

We were sitting at the table and a toy bunny was beside her, the small Christmas tree was on the table beside Ali. There was also a Spongebob mug in front of her.

This year, Ali's been crafting ornaments and decorating the tree. There's no way I'm getting out our old ornaments, I LOVE the tree and Ali's ornaments.

Today is brought to you by the letters G, O and P

The letter G was super fun to make, complete with gum stuck up in the corner. G proved to be a medium difficult, our saving grace was living on a golf course and liking golf. Notice the pink golf ball on the green and the goldfish in the water. This one wasn't as much fun for Alexiss as say, the letter P, and I'm not sure it stuck as well in her head. I'm finding the letters that have more than one sound is a tough concept to work around.

YES, P is for so many good things and was a breeze! Sometimes Ali mixes up the B and P sounds, but they're so close. 

Oh dear, the letter O, what a fiasco! I think it was a fail from the start with the mouth. Again, with two letter O sounds, it became a bit confusing. Definitely one to revisit later. It also could have been low energy and fighting off a cold the contributed.

I can't wait until we're all feeling better to have fun making train tracks!

Balancing cleaning priorities and leaving time to play. AKA: shortcuts and the shortlist of cleaning

I am by no means an expert on house cleaning but there's a few key things I've realized that can trick the masses into thinking your a super clean freak when all your doing is managing a mess that a four year old hurricane can create. At the very least, it will keep your home looking clean but lived in. Disclaimer: I cannot speak to what your mom may or may not see, but I can guarantee, she'll notice a few of these

• Get that garbage all the way to the garage/outside. Mark taught me that there's no such thing as a Daddy Job, after grabbing the kitchen garbage from the hallway and brought it to the garage grumbling "I guess this is a Daddy job". It made me realize that although each of us has our strengths and we balance each other well, there's no such thing as a Mommy or Daddy job, if you can do it... do it.
• Ugh, another tea bag jumped off the spoon onto the floor. No worries, that J cloth has almost worn out it's use with dishes, go ahead, grab it and do some spot cleaning on the floor! It puts off mopping for another day. While I don't mop my floor near enough, it's usually when I'm forced to by sticky spills. Mopping is usually last on my list. 
• Whether you want to or not, eventually there will be a juice spill that demands for you to finally mop. In my world, you're allowed to just git er done and leave the stuck stickers a few times. I don't recommend leaving them for more than a few months..or people will notice. Worse comes to worse, let your kid help clean the floor with a cloth and water, only do that on days when you have tons of patience though.
• Playdoh - if you're just not up for sweeping again today, put on some old socks and stomp it up, then toss the socks out. It's a win win! Use your husbands holey socks for a super win!
• Crumbs look, well crumby. Keep wiping!
• Keep your toilets clean and extra toilet paper handy!
• Leaving dishes in the sink is okay,  but if  the same company sees the same bowl for days...they may start to question your cleaning skills. 
• One sink full of dishes is acceptable, make it look even better by rinsing and not leaving crumbs in the sink.
• A burnt out interior bulb goes a long way to hiding spills and messy shelves in the fridge. If you don't have a burnt out bulb, give the shelves a quick wipe before loading up with this week's groceries. Do yourself a favor, and before stocking your fridge, clean out all old leftovers that didn't make it into "fridge soup".
• Never, ever... ever buy a white coffee maker
• Keep keys and wallets where you can find them. Nothing makes you realize everything is a mess more than not being able to find the most important things when you need them.
• Which leads me to... do not use a catch junk kitchen bowl. It can be handy in a pinch but those things just collect useless stuff. When you finally sort through all the way to the bottom, you'll end up tossing most of the stuff in the garbage anyway. 
• Use stacking bins, it keeps kids focused and on one task, and makes one mess. It's also makes it less of bewildering mess for a young child to clean up. The dollar store is an awesome place for nice looking baskets, pouches and boxes. Get a bunch that match and you can use them all through the house with the added bonus that it looks like you thought out your decor.
• Letter magnets sure look like fun and educational but they don't hold anything and end up under the fridge and being kicked around the house. They don't hurt as much as stepping on Lego but do yourself a favor and buy big fridge magnets instead. Letters. Seriously. Suck.
• Laundry. Ugh, the never ending pile. I almost don't want to talk about it but I must. If you're like me, things make it to the washer and dryer but folding is a bottle neck. Clothes wash and dry better in smaller loads and make it more manageable to fold afterwards. Drape pants and shirts over your arm out of the dryer, grab socks and underware in your hand and the sorting is almost done already! Try doing one load every other day during the week.
• Close curtains in a pinch. To get off that window crayon that's been stuck on for months, old newspaper and water work wonders on glass! I swear there's something in the toner that works better than any commercial glass cleaner.
• Okay, seriously. Again, in a pinch, moisturized hands work better at a quick hand dust. Come on, you know you've all done it.
• You are definitely allowed to over announce that you've wiped all door knobs and doors down with lysol after the last virus invaded your house and all inhabitants. 
• And my favorite.... go ahead and use that old annoying toy to press down the garbage in the can. Just don't let them see you do it!

This is by no means the end all be all of cleaning, there's tons not on here. This list comes in handy if your house is already somewhat tidy and organized. If you're house has piles of stuff in corners, etc... this list just won't have the same effect. 

Tasty apple spit....

Me "Ali, what are you chewing on?
Ali, "nothing, I ate all my apple and now I have tasty apple spit! "