Smile Ali!

Today I had to go to work to get my badge and key for remote access replaced. Mark stayed home with Ali. You see, usually I'm good at tracking things in Ali's hands and watching where they fall. Not this time. A friend made me laugh when he called her a magpie, picture her picking up shinys entranced with them and wanting to save them for her own. I looked EVERYWHERE! Cupboards, the drawer at the bottom of the stove, drawers, even shoes.. one by one. Meh, it's a good way to clean a house I suppose.

Today I had a moment when I took comfort in hearing a co-worker tell me that by reading my blog, she can tell I love Alexiss and she likes the Mom that I am. It's refreshing to have a few Moms to talk to honestly about motherhood. Thanks Brenda!

Tonight (and every night) I'm still toying with the idea that there's SOMETHING I can do to get Ali to sleep through the night. The other night the equation was; shirt top tucked in (which is a silly part of the equation, but at this point, I'm not leaving anything out), light off, door closed, snack and I didn't open her door before I went to bed to check on her. Part of that equation was me getting sore and tired and putting Ali in her bed before she fell asleep on me in the rocking chair, it was obvious she wasn't comfortable on me as much as I wasn't comfortable with her on me, it lead to an all out tantrum (a long tantrum)...but you know what!!!?? She slept through the night!! Yes!!! In HER bed!! ALL night!!! First time in months and let me tell you, it was blissful! I wasn't willing to repeat the tantrum part, but repeated the rest last night because I thought I'd hit the jackpot, without the tantrum... no go... sigh.

Tonight, no other mother could tell me I'm doing the right thing and have it hit my heart, as I tried to repeat the part of the equation I wasn't willing to yesterday and get Ali to fall asleep in her bed instead of on me in the rocking chair. She doesn't know to close her eyes and she's horribly stubbornly good at playing like she doesn't understand. So we went through the horrible process of the tantrum, me telling her if she didn't lie down and close her eyes or I was going to leave the room, her still not closing her eyes, me leaving and closing her door, her crying.. me going back in. Trying to reason with a two year old that she can do it, she's a big girl.. and the magic words.. she's super! Before Ali, I was a firm believer in the cry it out way to teach a kid to sleep, now with Ali, with those cries... I'm not so willing anymore, besides, really... what else do I have to do that's so pressing? So, we'll try again tomorrow in her bed. And honestly, I'd have to stand at her door and hold the door closed.

Today I realized the kid show Max and Ruby has lots of truth in it. Max, the young, barely speaking, bunny repeats the same word and want through the episode, Ruby, the care giver and older sister tries to thwart him.. she repeats herself a lot with a bit of a spin...but you know.. she doesn't loose her cool and in the end.. they both get what they want and are both happy.  Don't ask me about their parents, seems they aren't around, and Ruby still plays with dolls, so she can't be that old. Maybe bunnies child services or bunny culture is a little different.

Today (and yesterday) I've been craving a cucumber snack in the way (I think) of dear ole Dad... salt on a plate and dip and eat.. mmm mmm

Today, on camera, I captured Ali's silly smile when you ask her to "smile". This is something we just discovered, but we figure she's trying to smile like Momma and doesn't quite have it right. Adorable!

Excuse the long video, I thought she'd interact more, but she just wanted to sit and watch Max and Ruby with Daddy.

What makes a good (bad) Momma?

It's becoming very evident, what I think and what Ali thinks a good Momma is is vastly different, opposite even! The part of loving a child is also teaching them tolerance, patience and good behavior and eating habits. I don't think Ali thinks any of these lessons are fun, but she sure loves the things I do that I thought I'd never do. Funny how the things you think you'd never do as a parent, the things that seem so conceptually easy disciplining and raising a child are so much more straight cut before you have one of your own. Read and keep in mind Good Momma or Bad Momma in the eyes of a child.

• I made her keep dirty wet pants on after she had "fun" dripping her sippy cup all over. She had em half way down and was adamant that they were dirty. She made em dirty doing something I've asked her not to.. maybe she'll learn not to if there's a personal impact? I can only hope...
• I won't let her be the boss of the pets. Like when she spits food out on the floor and gets mad at the dog for scooping up the yummy treat. All of a sudden it's hers.. no, it doesn't matter that she spit it out because she didn't want it.. no, it doesn't matter that it's on the floor an may contain pet hair.. it's still hers!
• I made her sit in her closet... well, after making it into a fort, so that's a good one, isn't it? I'm throwing this one in there to show that sometimes we both think I'm a good Momma.
• I make her blow her nose instead of letting her have the fun of picking it and finding treasure. And yes, I resort to using my own sleeve if no tissue or toilet paper is handy.
• I make her wash her hair and even call in the troops (Daddy) to help me keep her from jumping out of the tub like a wet cat.
• When I'm having a bad morning, I admit to turning on the TV and throwing in a DVD... just for a break. I'm sure she loves it and it's better than me loosing patience all morning trying to play and keep her busy.
• She gets fries and ketchup or Alphagetti sometimes. My mom thinks this one is hilarious! 
• I leave her with Daddy Wednesday nights to go knitting! One night without a bed time snuggle really puts off her habits, but Momma needs a break and some me-time.
• I won't let her lick windows. No matter what sensory exploring feels neat or even if the windows taste good (I don't know, maybe I should try).. I won't let her lick windows.
• I make her nap no matter how hard she fights it. .crying and stumbling all over the place, proving she does indeed need a nap. This also makes blog entries a 5 phase deal some days, like today.
• I let her try things... like mustard. What? She wanted it cuz Daddy was eating it and there's no lesson like learning for yourself what you like and what you don't. tee hee.
• I'm not beyond using trickery and bribes. It's more leading by example when I make Daddy eat something off of his plate knowing Ali will copy him, isnt' it? The bribery is more like stating the obvious and giving choices, example: "If you don't close your eyes and go to sleep in Daddy's bed for your nap, we'll go into your room and I'll rock you to sleep."
• I haven't resorted to licking my finger to clean her face, kinda gross, but you know... a Momma does what a Momma has to do even if it's gross!

I am finally getting over cold number three since the beginning of November, making me less creative and less likely to blog. But today's blog was fun and started with the spilled juice incident and grew from there. I love how one little thing can turn into such a catalyst for reflection and writing! 

I guess I missed updating for Christmas and seemed not to update any fun stuff from our trip home in November, but I can't forecast inspiration and when I'm not feeling crafty to write.. my posts bore even me! lol. We've had a great few months, don't get me wrong, I guess my funny bone hasn't made it to the written word. We're very fortunate to get the opportunity to visit and spend time with family, the love they have for Ali (and me) and our love back is what life is all about after all.

Ali's sweet Christmas outfit thanks to Gramma. Seems polka dots are her signature thing! I think it's adorable!

Hope you had a wonderful Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Winter Solstice..  and wishing the new year brings you much promise and a life full of joys and opportunities to grow.